Sex Isn't Enough - A Biblical Perspective on Sexuality
This week at the dinner table we were trying to explain to our kids where babies come from. Oy. Pray for us. This will be an interesting road! But the conversations are essential because we want our kids to catch a biblical perspective on sexuality, not a 2020 cultural perspective on sexuality.
There is nothing traditional about what the Bible teaches on sex. Throughout the history of humanity, the tradition of sex has been to use and abuse. The powerful use their power to take something from the weak. In 1000 BC as well as 2020 AD, the biblical teaching on sexuality is not traditional, it is radical.
Sex is good. Among other reasons, God created sexual intimacy (Genesis 2:24), procreation (Genesis 1:28), and pleasure (Song of Solomon).
But sex is also powerful. There are certain subjects in the bible that receive much attention and other subjects that receive little. Gluttony and exercise are infrequently mentioned. Sex (along with money, fear and others) is a high frequency topic. This is in part because it is highly impactful on one’s spiritual and emotional well-being. Sex is so powerful, that the bible restricts it to the life-long vows of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:1-5, 36).
We live in a culture where sex is treated as ultimate. According to the wisdom of our day, your life is incomplete without sex. You need sex. You can’t be happy without sex. So says the wisdom of 2020.
This is a lie. The bible teaches something radically different. Sex will not satisfy you.
Recording in John 4, Jesus meets a woman at a well. A conversation ensues about water. Jesus says, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink the water I give them will never thirst.” (John 4:13-14) Jesus is speaking metaphorically. This woman will thirst again; she will return to this well. But Jesus is teaching her that while her thirst (and hunger, John 6:35) will return, she has another desire that is much more important that Jesus can fully satisfy.
We all have desires that are a normal part of being human. We desire food, drink, comfort, purpose, community, pleasure, rest and of course, sex. But none of these things will satisfy you. That doesn’t mean that we stop eating and drinking. It means that our eating and drinking have new meaning. Food has a new definition. It is something created by God to meet a need. It involves creativity, science, nutrition, experimentation, sustainability, etc.
The food that we eat reminds us that there is a God who is creative, gracious, a giver of good things, etc. And so, we can eat food and say, “Isn’t God great! Look how creative he is!” and our act of eating becomes a spiritual act of worship. The food may satiate hunger, but it is God who fills our deeper longing.
The same is true for sex. If you allow yourself to believe that sex is ultimate, you will have a lousy sex life. Anytime we take something that is good and make it ultimate we heap expectations on it that it can’t possibly live up to. Sex has a good purpose. But it’s not your ultimate purpose. If you make it your ultimate purpose, then you will be a slave to it.
If you are single, you need to know that getting married is not your purpose. Knowing and loving Jesus is. This is the single most significant thing that will satisfy you.
If you are married, you need to see sex in its appropriate light. It is a gift from God that is meant to develop love, trust and intimacy with your spouse. It is not for you (singular) it is for you (plural). It is thus a reflection of the love, trust and intimacy that exists between Jesus and his church (Ephesians 5:21-33).
You were not created to worship sex. You were created to worship Jesus.
He is better than anything that this life can offer you (Phil 1:20-24). Only Jesus can satisfy your deepest longings. When you make Jesus ultimate, you’ll be able to enjoy everything else to a much higher degree because your life won’t depend on it.
