Youth Anxiety, Depression, and Suicide from Isolation: A Christian Response

I recently attended an event atop scenic Mt. Washington. If you have ever been there, the view provides a panoramic view of the city of Pittsburgh with its tall buildings, three rivers, and famous bridges. But my attention had been forcefully drawn to the Fort Pitt bridge where emergency vehicles had recently converged. I did not know for certain the circumstances, but thirty years of law enforcement experience had conjured up some ideas. Soon a small speck tumbling from the top would spoil the grandeur and majesty of this historic Pittsburgh icon and fall to the water below. 

Ironically, that minuscule speck was exponentially more valuable than the grandiose structure from which it tumbled. That little speck, I would later learn, was a young man….an image-bearer of the living God! Somewhere along the way, he had lost his ability to cope and understand. For some reason, his ability to press forward had become buried under the gravity of hopelessness, despair, and isolation. 

The bridge of course would quickly regain its brilliant splendor on the Pittsburgh skyscape and commuters would soon continue to drive by the scene where only moments before hope had lost its grip… But things would not be the same. Ever! Suicide leaves an infinitely greater ripple in the world than it does in the water. More than one soul is always crushed in the wake of suicide. 

As a pastor, I have had to prepare for more than one suicide funeral for a young person. Funerals are never pleasurable, but a youth that chooses suicide presents an even greater number of difficult conversations and theological hurdles for family and friends. Loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, and despair are often the backstory for such final decisions. 

Man cannot thrive in lonely isolation. Made in the image of God, man was created for community.

From all eternity God Himself has been in divine community eternally existing in the social economy of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

The divine assertion that “it is not good for man to be alone” is not limited to a man’s need for a wife but is also a declaration of incompleteness for all individuals. Early nineteenth-century theologian Albert Barnes comments, “He (man) is formed to be social, to hold conversation not only with his superior (God), but also with his equal (others).” There is a reason that the most recalcitrant inmates are often put in isolation. Isolation is a most horrible form of punishment. It is contrary to God’s design for His creatures and the punishment is meant to serve as a stark reminder of that loss. 

The isolation and social distancing of this recent season have led to widening socials gaps. One of those glaring gaps has been among the youth. If navigating the world has been difficult for adults; the challenge has been exponentially multiplied for those with little life experience to draw from. While it must be conceded that growing into adulthood has always been awkward; the fallout of the past 16 months has seemed to provide heightened cultural fragmentation, causing young people to turn even further inward. 

Social barriers lend to vulnerability. And for those young people who had been already actively searching for ways to ‘disengage’ from the world due to pre-existing anxiety or depression, these have been particularly tenuous times. COVID-19 has provided the perfect storm as an excuse for some to run or hide. The results have been notable and frightening. 

The United States faces a crisis that has been building over the past twenty years: rising suicide rates. According to a recently released brief by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide rates rose by 35% from 1999 to 2018. The last 16 months have certainly provided no relief to mitigate those numbers. While US aggregate suicide data for 2020 will not be available for a couple of years, due to lags in the data, state and county-level data reveal dismal trends. 

In Pima County, Arizona, suicides were up 67 percent in 2020 compared to the previous year for children ages 12 to 17, and statewide childhood suicides had also increased since 2019. 

CDC data has revealed a 24 percent increase in emergency room mental health visits for children ages 5 to 11, compared to 2019. Among adolescents ages 12 to 17, that increase is 31 percent. Last summer, the CDC reported that one in four young adults had contemplated suicide in the previous month. 

Many government policies meant to curtail the COVID-19 pandemic have unintentionally resulted in consequences that threaten lives—including, tragically, the lives of young people who (studies have shown) are typically spared from the worst effects of COVID-19. 

School closures, stay-at-home orders, and shutdowns of businesses deemed “non-essential” are contributing to surging rates of anxiety and suicide among young people, as well as rising incidences of drug overdose and related deaths. 

In the past several weeks, The New York Times has reported that an alarming increase in student suicides has prompted schools in Las Vegas to move quickly to reopen schools for in-person learning. In the Clark County, Nevada school district, 18 students took their lives during the nine months of school closures, which is double the number of students who committed suicide in the district in all of 2019. The youngest child was just nine years old. 

According to the Times: “One student left a note saying he had nothing to look forward to.” 

Young people need their peers. They need face-to-face contact so they can learn to process the emotional tumult that already exists naturally in them personally, and outside of them socially. Being isolated has proven to paralyze that process and cause them to turn inward. 

As believers, how are we to respond to this accelerated increase in anxiety and depression (which often results in drug use as temporary anesthesia) that impacts our communities, families, and churches with such devastating impact? 

Here are a few suggestions that might help us press into the lives of the young people we know to draw them out of personal isolation to engage the world around them, themselves, and the Lord who created them.

Be Committed

Love is a tough business that requires sacrifice and commitment. It is wise to have friends and family that provide a strong support system and share the same family values that you are trying to model in your home. Your church small group can provide a great platform of shared biblical values. Also, make a habit of checking out your child’s music, movies, and games as well as the relationships that your kids are involved in. This can require some thick skin, but the payoff is staying informed as to what is shaping your child’s attitudes, worldview, behavior, and character. Kids may not appreciate our meddling, but they will surely respect our commitment.

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” - Ephesians 4:15

Be Consistent

It is our Christian duty to draw reasonable, but concise boundaries for our kids and to consistently hold them accountable in a firm and fair manner about the rules that we establish. Consistency leaves no doubt in the minds of our kids as to our concern for what is in their best interest. Complacency is easy. Diligence is difficult.

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” - Galatians 6:9

Be Humble

If you do not understand your kids and their culture, tell them! They will be happy to talk to you about their world if you listen intentionally and reflectively. And it may provide incredible opportunities for meaningful discussion. Kids find adults far more respectable in honesty than in pretense.

“Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life.” - Proverbs 22:4

Be Sympathetic

It is sometimes easy for adults to forget the hardships of fitting in as an adolescent. Be sure not to diminish their problems as immature and childish. To them, their issues are real and painful. The severity of hardship is always relative to the person experiencing it!

“Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” - Matthew 7:12

Be Attentive

Hearing is accomplished with our ears but listening requires our whole heart and mind. Help them to understand that their opinion matters by giving them your full and undivided attention when they need to discuss an issue or to just simply vent. Also, be aware that your body language speaks volumes to them about whether you are exhibiting genuine interest in their opinions. Think before responding to your child. Answer their questions in a thoughtful manner. It may help to repeat their viewpoint back to them so that they can hear it out loud. This may give your child an opportunity to objectively hear the reasonableness or unreasonableness of their viewpoint or argument.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” - James 1:19

Be Honest and Sincere

Kids can spot a fake from three continents away. Do not pretend to know more than you know about them and their interests. It is less important to appear cool in their eyes than, to be honest in their eyes. They do not need to think that you have all the answers. They know you do not have all the answers. Nobody has all the answers. If you do not know, say “I don’t know, but together we can find out.”

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” - Proverbs 18:13

Caring for young people who are struggling with isolation and depression is not easy! This process is forged out on the anvil of relationships that are based on truth, trust, and a personal willingness to seek the highest and best interest of others. Our prayer is that through these engagements you will be given the opportunity to share the hope of Christ with not only your own children but also their friends. The pastoral staff at Orchard Hill Church is willing to help!